…I had pancakes and sushi with soy sauce!! Okay, the novelty is wearing off, but I’m still pretty excited. I just never really thought I would eat wheat again. It’s a pretty crappy food, admittedly, but the convenience factor is HUGE!! I have yet to indulge in a bagel or a doughnut. Ah, tomorrow…
Am I in love? I have no fucking idea. What I know is that I think of him constantly. It starts with “What does he think of me?” Then it turns into “Who the fuck cares?” Next, it’s “Well, it sure would be great if he thought I was cool. I hope he does.”
He turns me on like no one ever has before! He activates me at levels of being that I have not known before. He is one of the loves of my life. I am clear on that. I have no idea, however, how that love may manifest on the physical plane. There is a friendly pact between our souls. I am grateful that we know one another as lovers, and I do not want to be distracted by carnal desire from the other noble and beautiful aspects of our intertwining sensibilities.
I do not know this man yet. He is a lover of many, not my monogomous partner. He is a man I admire, a man I desire. Admiration leads. I fantasize that we might travel together for a while, learning, teaching, growing, flowing.
His eyes are blue crystal orbs. He opens himself to me and invites me to share myself with him. This man is a treasure. He inspires me to surrender to him, as he has to me.
I have given what I can. I want to give more… everything… but for some reason, dare not. How do I honor this man completely, and remain true to my path?
I am so grateful for his presence in this life. My life is already better for knowing him, and I hope his might become better for knowing me.
A man looks around at his world. He sees it on the brink of environmental disaster, and filled with bigotry and murder. Feeling helpless, he turns his head to God.
“Lord,” he says, “with all the evil in the world, with all it’s injustice, I still have faith in you.”
“And I,” God replies, “have faith in you.”
I woke up this morning to a phone call from my mom. She suspects that we have Cherokee heritage. She doesn’t know who her great grandmother is. She’s never been mentioned. But she knows her great grandfather travelled with the Cherokee. Seems pretty likely, and really exciting to me.
I cancelled a massage this morning because my throat was sore and my glands were swollen. I didn’t want to make anyone sick, though I felt energetic and strong.
The sick feeling lessened, and I had breakfast at Squat’n Gobble in the Castro. I saw Mo’s wife and daughter for the first time. He’s a proud papa. I read more of Cosmos & Psyche. Great book!!
Then I met my Anthropology of Homosexualities professor for tea. I returned “So You Don’t Know Much About Mythology” to him, a set of CDs telling tales and discussing world mythology. He shared his AWESOME pics of Greece with me.
Ben and Becca showed up unexpectedly (after I had just compared Ben and Matt), fresh from the Rainbow Gathering. Matt left. I had an empty massage book, so I got to catch up with the Rainbows for hours. It felt soooo good.
Brian joined me while I ate lunch, and I did one massage. We talked about kink and play parties. I tanned, left work early, worked out, practiced my poi, and bought bananas. Dan and I made plans to go camping tomorrow, and Tim and I made plans to shoot pool.
I drove home where I hung out with some of the crew before typing this.
Just the facts, ma’m…
It’s an interesting time. I moved to Brisbane. I still can’t believe I don’t live in San Francisco. Yes, it’s close geographically, but the character is so different. I didn’t expect to move. I didn’t plan to move. The room was just right, and I knew it was the right thing to do (if there is such a thing.) I came home tonight after work to a couple of guys finishing a movie. Then some of the women came home, and it started to feel like home. I’ve been such a home-loner lately. I’m even a little afraid of a home that’s so social. It feels really good, though. My pattern is to go out and be fiercely social, and come home to be solitary and silent. I’m going to grow here.
I saw it last night with two friends. I loved it! I can’t say I was blown away by the content. There were new details that showed the urgency of global warming , but the information is not new. With me, Gore is preaching to the choir.
What was amazing to me was the clarity with which he presented his information. The political content was minimal, and appeared as a part of this man’s journey, not a position. The movie was filled with powerful images, graphs, and facts. The science is sound.
I was afraid I’d be going to see doom and gloom, but quite the opposite. I was left feeling hopeful. This is the first time this information has been packaged in a way that might speak to the masses. You have to be stupid to miss the implications of the situation, and you have to be beyond evil to ignore them. I’ve been exhausted by this conversation, speaking to people who will not listen to something that puts responsibility in our own laps… a responsibility to compromise our comfort for our survival.
I hope and pray that this movie is seen and the content is heard by middle America, and that the press handles it responsibly. There are people who will drive this planet into the sun to make a profit. My question is this: Are we a successful species that does what it takes to steer away from a self-created disaster, or are we a failure that blindly stays in the fire until it consumes us?